


The Plagues of Storybrooke

by MoonStarDutchess



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Complete, F/M, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-16 11:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonStarDutchess/pseuds/MoonStarDutchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with six creatures. And with those six creatures Belle sets the citizens of Storybrooke straight and shows her mischievous side at the same time.   </p><p>Eleventh in the Missing Moments Collection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Joy in a Box

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own Once Upon a Time and gain no profit from this fanfiction.
> 
> Note: This falls into our series. It does not follow strict canon timeline.

           Most of the time Rumplestiltskin’s expectations were never wrong. He thought once the curse broke, the residents of Storybrooke would come after the items that showed up in his pawnshop when the curse was cast. He’d been surprised when that turned out not to be the case. In fact, people brought more items in; sometimes they just left them at the shop’s back door instead of selling them.  Most of the items weren’t of any value, and he wondered if they were only leaving them to get on his nerves.

          He ran a pawnshop, not a Goodwill.

            While he didn’t see any value in the items, some of them were nice enough to catch Belle’s attention, though she said nothing about liking them. Even though she’d never admit to wanting a few, he would bring them home after a while and offer them to her. The smile that appeared on her face with such small offerings was equal to if he’d given her a treasure chest.

           The random items soon evolved to the point he noticed a trend emerging.  He started getting boxes of modern women’s clothing, shoes, and new packs of makeup; he figured these gifts implied the citizens thought he didn’t buy Belle things.  He insisted on several occasions that they should go get her new clothing, and she bought a few new dresses, but most of the time her attention gravitated toward the retro shops just on the outer edge of town or the small consignment shops. She called those clothes charming. Occasionally he noticed her eyes drift to something new in a clothing shop window, and he’d always go back and get it for her. 

            When he spotted a box on his doorstep this morning, he’d expected it to contain clothing. He felt the skin at his temple twitch. Didn’t they notice the new fur — fake at Belle’s insistence—coat he bought her. No one could miss it considering it was pink, her favorite color, and the hood had animal ears on it.

          His Belle was definitely turning into what they called an “anime” fan. It was sweet, unusual, and suited her.  Due to her new hobby of watching the foreign cartoons, it wasn’t surprising when she gave a tiny squeal at the creatures inside the box. Clothing had never gotten such a reaction.

          These were the kinds of items left at a toy donation drive, but the moment he saw the twinkle in Belle’s eyes, he knew she’d want to keep them.

          After buying several packages of batteries, they put them in the items, and placed them on the table. She shook each one to “wake them up”. 

          With scary synchronicity, they all yawned; their owl-like beaks opened, accompanied by little clicks, and their eyelids rose, revealing wide round eyes.  He recalled seeing newer models with digital eyes, so he wasn’t sure what to make of these older styles.

          Belle watched them with a childlike wonder. She looked so much like Bae that for a moment he forgot she wasn’t his mother. The thought of him sitting there beside Belle, of her being his mother, sent warmth through him. But there was a strong possibility he wasn’t a child anymore; this curse was supposed to take him to Bae, but there was no way of knowing his age in this world. He shook the thought from his head, sat down in a chair, and watched as his love interacted with the half dozen toys sitting on the table.

          If she chose to stay with him in the Dark Castle, he’d look into finding some of the real creatures to see if he could find a companion for Belle. Everyday she insisted in some way that she wasn’t going anywhere, and he was growing confident that their relationship was what they both wanted.

          “So I can keep these?” Belle asked as she read over the instructions. She started to rub each of their stomachs and soon all their eyes were closed.

          “Of course,” he said. “There’s a long shelf in the hall upstairs where you can set them.”

          “Why not in the bedroom?” He could tell she wasn’t serious.

          “I’d rather not wake up and have the creatures staring at me.”

          Belle giggled. “Help me carry them up?”

          He stood and grabbed two of the toys, when he shook them by mistake, the creatures’ eyes cracked open and yawned. “You’ll need to—” He was cut off when the other four creatures woke up because Belle jarred them when she picked them up.

          “I’ll have to put them to sleep again.”

          Rumple laughed and they went upstairs to the place he suggested. After removing a vase and two other knickknacks from the shelf, they sat the creatures in a line across it, all of them jabbering away in their squeaky voices.  He was tempted to shut them up with magic, but Belle was transfixed and talking about how cute they were.

          She stared with the one on her right and rubbed its back. It released a purring sound with every pet.

          “It sounds like you,” Belle said.

          “Me?”

          “When you say a word with an R in it,” she said.  The corner of her eyes crinkled when she smiled. “I’ll call this one Rum.”

          “I’m flattered.”

          He watched as it yawned and said, “Night night,” before drifting off to sleep.  She moved to lull the next one to sleep while the others chimed in with their silly character talk.

          “This one is Goldy,” she said of the yellow one she just put to sleep.

          She went to the next one. “This one is…What’s your name in this world? I never did ask you.”

          He shook his head. “There’s no need to name them all after me, dearie.” 

           “I want to know.”

           “Names have power here.”

           “What do you think I’m going to do? Enchant you?”

            “You act like you haven’t already.”

             “Rumple,” she said and placed her hands on her hips. “I won’t tell. I promise. I know it begins with an R too because you always sign things R Gold.”

            “My ever observant Belle.”

          She walked closer to him. “Tell me, please.”

          _Damn it._ She was using her charm to get her way. He wasn’t sure if she knew she had such ability.

           “The queen enacted the curse. I have nothing to do with the name she gave me.”

          “I assumed it remained Rumple, but now I really want to know.”

          “She doesn’t like me,” he said and took a step back. “You know that.”

          “She doesn’t like anyone,” she said. “I can’t think of a horrible name that beings with an R.”

          “It’s not that it’s horrible from a sound perspective.” He motioned toward the creatures. “You should put those to sleep.” 

          “I’m not going to do anything until you tell me. . . I might even wake them all up.”     “I’ll just put them to sleep.”

          “So you’d use magic?”

           “Of course not. I’d use a screwdriver.”

          She took a step forward and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Please tell me.”

          He sighed, leaned down, and whispered in her ear as if someone could overhear. She stared up at him quizzically after he spelled his name instead of spoke it.  

          “R-E-I-L-E? That’s not bad. It’s unique.”

          “Last e is silence.”

          “Reil?”

          “Yes. Reile Gold.”

           “Reile Gold…Real Gold.”  She cringed.

          “The name wouldn’t be so bad if my last name wasn’t Gold.” 

          “Good thing you don’t have a daughter with you,” Belle said and commenced quieting the remaining creatures that were still awake. “Regina would’ve probably named her pure.”

          Rumple chuckled. “Or white.”

          Belle soon had the creatures asleep, she named the others Chip, Ruby, and Archie (The resemblance between the creature and Archie was uncanny, and he’d make sure to bring Belle those toy glasses he had in his shop to add to the thing). He’d insisted she name the chestnut colored one, Belle.

          She lifted the Belle creature and put her between the ones called Rum and Gold. “She’ll be happier there.”

          “You sure about that?”

          “She’s always happiest when she’s with Rum or Gold. She loves them both.”

          “She’s a misguided creature.”

          Belle shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. “No, she’s a lucky one.”

 

-/-/-

          Rumple woke up to a loud crack of thunder, which was odd considering it seemed to thunder every night and over the years he’d learned to sleep through it. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and looked over at Belle. She was sprawled out in bed, one leg draped over his waist, her nightgown lifting up and giving him a generous look at her thigh. Her mouth was open in a small O and a tiny drop of drool balanced at the corner of her lips. He could only imagine what people would say if they knew the “beauty of Storybrooke” as people dubbed her, slept so strangely.

          It’d caught him by surprise, but like many of her other oddities, he found her sleep habits charming. He’d yawned and looked over at the clock.  It was seven am but not surprised it was still dark since that was typical during these thunderstorms.

          When he heard glass crashing downstairs, he loathed that he’d have to get up to check. He sat up and looked at Belle once more, gauging if she would wake up once he left.  

          He didn’t want her to panic if she woke up and he wasn’t there with her. When more thunder sounded and she didn’t wake, he took it as a sign he could venture downstairs.

          He gently lifted her leg off him and stood from the bed. After pulling the cover over her body, he slipped on his brown bathrobe with a hood and bear ears (Belle had purchased it for him because it was warm and fluffy). He grabbed his cane. Belle liked him in the robe and bought it out of concern, so he wore it often just to please her.  If there were a chance of anyone being at the door or arriving at his house, he would’ve dressed in his suit or casual clothing (a suit without a jacket).

          His reputation would be ruined if anyone saw him.

          He opened his bedroom door and slipped into the dark hallway, thankful for the runner rug in the hall because it was both a sound dampener and kept bare feet from coming in contact with a cold hardwood floor.  He squint his eyes; it was too bad that being the Dark One didn’t come with night vision. As he walked down the hallway, he made a mental note to buy a nightlight. He made it well until his shoulder hit the shelf where the creatures he gave Belle sat. 

          All six of them sprang to life and lightning flashed.  They all shouted in perfect unison, “Cockadoodle doo!”  He leapt backward, hitting a wall and nearby table and knocking a vase to the floor.

          Damn those things. He didn’t want to look around the house for a screwdriver so after he checked downstairs, he’d see about shutting the monstrosities up without the use of magic or a hammer.

          He went downstairs and found out it wasn’t a broken window, but instead he’d left the window open in the kitchen. The dishes in the drainer in front of it had been knocked onto the floor due to the wind blowing the blinds.

          He shut the window and cleaned up the glass all the while hearing the faint echo of “koko, koodae, bobay, and other fake words the programmers saw fit to enter into the creature’s vocabulary.

          After cleaning, he journeyed upstairs and stared at the toys. He reached out and, like Belle did earlier that day, stroked the back. This action reminded him of soothing Bae when he was a baby, except Bae wasn’t furry with a beak and he didn’t purr. He went through all six, taking a good thirty minutes to quiet them. When silenced, he groaned and limped back to bed. As soon as he lay down, he felt a leg go over his and Belle cuddled into his chest.

          “Warm,” she muttered.

          A clap of thunder shook the house and with it came six yawns. He moved Belle’s leg and sat up. He exhaled and stood. 

          _Bloody hell. . ._


	2. Dealing with the Creatures  in Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own Once Upon a Time and gain no profit from this fanfiction.  
> 

          Belle covered her mouth when she released a huge yawn and then eyed the creatures sitting on the shelf as she passed them in the hall. After three days in the house, she was tired of them awaking with the slightest bump of the shelf or loud noise. If she had her way, she’d toss them out the window, but there were several reasons why she wouldn’t do so. She saw Rum tinkering with them one night, probably one of his sleepless nights, and had noticed how focused he was. He liked them though he probably wouldn’t admit it. If he could deal with them, she would for his sake. It was nice to see him focused on something other than magic.

          Then there was the fact that he gave them to her and it she didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t want them anymore. Sometimes Rum took her rejection of gifts as a rejection of him. She would do her best to keep him from feeling that way so she’d deal with the little bas—creatures.

          It was no wonder the previous owners wanted to get rid of them. Sure, she could remove the batteries, but she wasn’t sure where Rum kept a screwdriver and he’d get suspicious if she took them out. She sighed and picked up her bag when she arrived at the bottom of the stairs. She’d grab some breakfast at the diner and take it to the pawnshop since Rumple had to leave for work early. Rent had to be collected strictly on time after all.

          A little grin made its way onto her lips. Though she got upset at him for denying extensions to people that really needed it (sometimes she convinced him to do so) more often than not, they just wanted the extensions because they didn’t want to take responsibility for their bills first. She saw this first hand when Rumple granted a woman an extension who she thought really needed it  only to find the woman buying a four-hundred dollar purse with money that should’ve gone to rent or another necessity.

          She didn’t see anything wrong with buying something you wanted occasionally but it should be only after you dealt with other obligations.

          She looked down at her own purse. Ruby had gone crazy over it being something called Chanel. She wasn’t sure what this Chanel was and had never thought to ask Ruby or Rumple about it. She guessed it was the skin of the creature the purse was made from.

          After locking the house behind her, she made her way down the street, smiling at everyone passing by only to have their head turn way. She thought after a while the neighbors would become more welcoming like the people that came into the library, but they avoided her. The only neighbor that spoke to her was the witch down the road and she couldn’t care less about the goings on in Storybrooke as long as people let her be. And all the people did except Rumple.

          She been jealous, but before she voiced those feelings to Rumple, the witch came into the library to get a book and made it clear that Rumple was nothing more than an ally and a younger brother (she’d laughed at the thought of Rum being like a younger brother). When she spoke of it to him, he’d muttered then revealed she was several hundred years older than he was.

          Belle avoided looking at others until she left the neighborhood, but that didn’t keep her naturally curious mind from wondering about the pasts of people residing in that particular area. They never seemed to leave the section to go to work. She wasn’t sure if they did before magic returned to the town. The prince had ordered people to try to live as they did pre-curse but she doubted the people in the neighborhood cared what the prince had to say.

          She giggled when she remembered Rumple’s witch friend calling him Prince Charmin and said he was full of shit. She hadn’t realized why Rumple laughed so sincerely until he showed her a package of Charmin toilet paper.

          When she went into the downtown area, more people greeted her, but warily. Even though Rumple hadn’t done anything truly evil to anyone but the queen, as far as she knew, since the curse broke, their opinions of him hadn’t gotten any better.

          A woman smiled at her and said good morning before turning into a shop. Her expression seemed odd which made Belle sigh. It was frustrating; she wasn’t sure if the people that greeted her did it genuinely or because she was involved with Rum.

          The diner was humming with talk until she entered. She pretended nothing changed about the atmosphere and walked over to the counter. When Ruby greeted her, and shot the other patrons a stern look, they returned to their conversations.

          “You’d think they’d get used to you by now,” Ruby said.

          “They probably think Rumple is with me every time I walk in. Besides, you can’t undo hundreds of years of bad deeds within months.”

          Ruby huffed. “You didn’t do the bad deeds, he did.”

          Belle gave her a kind smile. It hurt to hear that even if it was the truth and even if Rumple had the reason for doing the things he did. “The usual please, Ruby.”

          “Just yours or are you ordering for him too?” she asked as she poised her pen to write on the order sheet.

          “Him too.”                                                        

          “Okay then, I’ll have it for you in a few minutes,” she said and went back to the kitchen to place the order before setting about to refilling coffee mugs. Belle sat down at the counter and tried to relax. A difficult task considering she could feel eyes on her back; the two old ladies sitting nearby, town gossips, were studying her with judgmental interest.

          “Youth today have no brains Mildred,” one of them said.  “She should have enough sense to find a young man that works instead of moving in with a greedy old codger.”

          Belle reached into her purse to get her wallet and gripped it tight as she pulled it from her bag. Rumple worked, being a landlord and making deals was work, and he was extremely generous. Perhaps not to everyone and she’d grown to realize that most didn’t deserve generosity.  

          “I know. The poor dear even has to come here to get breakfast. I bet he doesn’t even feed her,” another said as Belle removed her credit card. That made no sense. If he was greedy and didn’t feed her then how could she afford to eat at the diner? And were these women trying to get her to listen or did they lack the ability to whisper. Or maybe they thought Rumple took her ability to hear.

          “I know a young man that—”

          “Why don’t you two biddies learn how to mind your own business,” she said and turned around in her seat, eyes narrowed and her tongue ready to spit fire. She could tolerate a certain amount of abuse, but not this much and not directed toward someone she loved. “My personal life is none of your concern.” She held up the black Visa card between her two fingers. “Rumplestiltskin takes better care of me than anyone else ever could. Just because I eat here doesn’t mean I’m starving. How would I pay for it otherwise if that was the case?” 

          She bit her tongue to keep from saying something about the fact their butts were hanging over the edge of the chair by an inch. Rumplestiltskin was rubbing off on her a bit too much.

          The two women didn’t respond and looked away. Perhaps her outburst would teach the ladies to stop their gossip, but she doubted it. She turned back to the counter and saw Ruby there, her lips twitching with an unformed smirked. She placed a bag in front of Belle and took the credit card to swipe. When handing the card back she leaned closer and whispered, “It’s about time you start saying something to people.”

          Belle was surprised and repressed the thought that someday she’d have to talk to Ruby about the tiny snide comments that she made in reference to Rumple. In ways, Ruby was just as bad as the other citizens were.

          "Bell smiled politely and took the bag off the counter.

          “Are you going to help with the charity bake sale this year?   Belle racked her brain for what she was talking about. Didn't the nuns already have a bake sale already?

          Belle turned around. "Who for?"

          "To raise money for the school’s theatre club," Ruby said.

          Belle wanted to laugh. Couldn't they come up with something other than a bake sale? According to Doctor Whale, childhood and adult obesity was hitting Storybrooke residents at high rates.

          "Yes, I'll bake something."  Then again, Rumple always liked theatrics so maybe she could get him to donate a bit instead of having her bake something. And this was for children.  He'd donated a substantial amount to get a children's ward of the hospital built. No one knew, and if they did then they wouldn’t acknowledge it because the Dark One didn't do nice things even when he did do them. They thought he had to have an ulterior motive, but what in the hell could be the motive of helping a children's hospital. What was Rum going to do? Take their lollipops in payment? Their trick or treat candy? Put a lien on their bicycles?

          "I have to get to get going, Ruby. Talk to you later."

          "Okay, bye Belle."

-/-/-

          Belle felt tension leave her shoulders the instant she left the dinner and headed toward the pawnshop.  She took out her key and unlocked the place before sitting Rumple’s breakfast on the desk and leaving. He was out collecting rent and should be there in less than an hour and she had to open the library up. Though she had only a few dozen patrons that were sincerely interested in books, she did her best to make sure it was a nice place where people could read and spend time away from a town that always had something weird going on it in. Even if there were people that came there to gossip or gawk at her, she wouldn’t’ kick them out.

          _“Perhaps they don’t know how to read, Dearie. With their noses stuck in everyone’s ass they probably haven’t had time to stick them in a book.”_ She remembered Rumple saying and suppressed a giggle.   

Her library was also a haven from the evil queen. Regina wouldn’t set foot in the place knowing that Rumplestiltskin was probably watching it somehow.        

          She snapped out of her thoughts when a woman came up to the counter. She smiled at Belle, insincerely, and her painted lips snarled up in a similar way that Regina’s did. This woman would always try anything to embarrass anyone else and make herself look like an important person. She'd called Ruby a whore to everyone that would listen, and said that Granny was having an affair with Rumple, which made her laugh even though everyone knew that wasn't true. Of course, instead of people saying Rumple didn’t have taste, it was that Granny was smarter than that. It was an indirect insult to her even though most didn’t intend for it to be.

           Recently, she’d become the target, and the woman made cheap shots at her using any chance she got. "You really should read this book," the woman said. Belle looked down and wasn’t sure about the topic. It was odd to see the woman check out a book. 

          "Stockholm syndrome? Is that some kind of disease?"

The woman laughed. "Oh yes, it's a mental disease."

          Belle forced her face to keep a calm expression. Sometimes she understood why Rumple was so damn intolerant with others at times. “I’ve always had a fascination with diseases.”  Belle removed a book from underneath the library counter. “Here’s one on STD’s. It’s rare I meet someone that had a book written about them. Mind autographing it for me?”

          “How dare you!”

          “You mean this isn’t your autobiography?”

          The woman huffed and stalked out, leaving the books on the counter and leaving Belle to put them up. Ursula had the ability to dish it out but never the ability to take insults thrown back at her.

          When she heard a small laugh, she looked up and smiled at Henry who was sitting in a corner with a pad of paper and several books open. He gave her a thumb up then went back to his work.

          It was amazing how Regina raised such a great kid, and it made her wonder what else she’d be capable of if she didn’t have revenge primarily on her mind.

 

-/-/-

          It stayed quiet for the next few hours. When everyone left the library, she glanced and the clock on the wall and decided to go pick up some lunch from the local deli and take it to the pawnshop.

          She locked up and headed to her favorite place. She got in line and an old woman (who once lived in a giant shoe) turned around and smiled at her.  “Oh Belle dear, I just had to tell you. My son about your age recently broke up with his girlfriend and he’s available. You wouldn’t happen to know a lovely young lady that would be interested in a handsome young man would you?”

          Belle knew what she was implying, it happened every time one of her son’s had relationship troubles with one of the seven dancing princesses.

          “I’m afraid my friendships in this town are limited due to me being so busy with the library,” she said, playing stupid. “I’m sure Ruby knows a few girls that might be interested.”

          Even if she were single, she wouldn’t touch that kind of relationship. Some of his siblings lived with him and while she loved and wanted children someday, ten was excessively many. She’d go mad.

          “Oh, I see,” she said. The old woman never took any anger out on her, just placed subtle comments or occasional looks of concern. There were times even when she came to Belle’s defense and told Belle about the gossip concerning her and Rum.

          “Tell me, do you know what Stockholm Syndrome is? Some lady implied I had it.”

          The old woman paid the man at the counter, took her order and turned back to her. “Humm, can’t say I do, dear. I hope when I die some day it’s not from any of these newfangled diseases.”

          Belle nodded and it was her time to order. The guy behind the counter knew what she wanted before she spoke. “Turkey Sandwich on wheat with cheese and mustard?”

          “Yes,” she said.

 “And a roast beef club for Mister Gold.”

          He was one of the few people on Rum’s good side. The man paid his bills and the one time he couldn’t, Rum granted the extension. He never took advantage of the kind gesture. “That’s right.”

          “I’ll have it for you in a minute,” he said and set about making the sandwich there in front of her. It was pleasant ordering food without feeling like there was a target on her back. The deli’s patrons consisted of mainly old men who cared more about sitting around eating sandwiches and playing cards than gossip.

          “Do you guys serve breakfast?” If she could avoid the diner sometimes, she’d feel great.

          “Yes we do. Biscuits mainly but they’re the best in town. Better than at that old battle-ax’s dinner.”

          Belle laughed. He and granny fought so much it was like they were married.

          “I’ll keep that in mind. It’s nice here.”

          He handed the bag over the counter and she handed him money. “Keep the change.”

          “Thank you Miss Belle.”


	3. Babbling Gibberish Everywhere . . .

              Rum noticed Belle wasn't being her chatty self during dinner. She picked at her food, brows furrowed and stared at her plate as if trying to crack some sort of code embedded within the china pattern. He knew she wasn't angry with him since he couldn't have done anything between lunch and dinner today. But she seemed odd during lunch as well: acting tired when she was usually energetic and bright.

        "Are you angry with me?" Rumple asked just in case he did something and hadn't realized it.

        She looked up at blinked at him. “Should I be?”

“Not that I know of.” He relaxed when she smiled.

"No, not at all." She put down her fork. "It's been a trying day. More so than usual."

        “I see.”

        “What’s Stockholm syndrome? I was busy at the library so I couldn’t look it up,” she said.

        Rumple searched through his Storybrooke thoughts and things he learned in “school” and came up with the answer. “It’s when victims of trauma or kidnapping sympathize with their captors.”

        “I was not kidnapped and that’s not the reason I love you.”

        “Someone said you had it?”

        “Ursula.”

        Rum groaned. “You’re dealing with all this trouble because of our relationship. I figured you’d grow on them by now."

        "These people that claim to be so good really don't know how to show it."

        "I've done bad things, Belle.”

        "But that doesn't mean they shouldn't give you a chance to make good. I mean it's not like they ever gave you a chance."

        "With my deals, you can hardly blame them," he said. His little Belle was too willing to give people chances. He understood why the citizens of Storybrooke were unwilling to do so. He didn’t care if they liked him or not, but he didn’t want Belle to be ostracized since she was a people person. If he had to be good, he would be just enough that they’d accept her.

              "You gave them a choice in every deal they made. You didn't blackmail them into it. Even Regina made her choice. They don't want to take responsibility for their actions."

        "I twisted Regina into it."

        "She still ultimately made the choice on her own. Surely you've had people turn you down before."

        In all the years he’d been the Dark One, he’d never thought about those. When they turned him down, he just moved on. Most thought he’d be angry when that happened, but he was nonchalant about it. He just didn't like when people took far too long to make their decisions. He admired the ones who turned him down and dealt with their tragic or confusing issues head on. It wasn't even as if he targeted all weak people. They weren't weak if they turned down an apparently easy way out.

        And sometimes he’d give them a little advantage without telling them.

        "I've had several." He furrowed his brows. "A majority of the ones that made deals with me were for selfish reasons. There’s always a desire to be rich, powerful, or they want to kill someone, or out of the need for an heir."

        “Um, can I ask you a question about that? The heir thing.”

        “Of course.”

              “I always wondered about the children. You took people's children right?"

        His lips quirked. "I didn’t snatch them up in the middle of the night like some baby stealing demon.” He twiddled his fingers a bit at her and relished in her laughter.

        “I didn’t think that.”

        He rested his hands on the table beside his plate. “There were many childless couples that were willing to give up everything for a baby. In contrast, I had couples willing to give up their child to be rich or for any other possession."

        "They gave up their child willingly?"

        "That's right."  He knew it was extremely difficult for Belle to grasp that. If Belle was a mother, she’d die for her child. When he was human he would've given up anything for Bae, but then he turned just as foolish as the parents that gave up their children for riches. He gave up Bae for magic.

        "What was the price for the child? What did you charge the childless couples?"

        "I charged various things. I asked the name of a family’s fairy once, but I think the most expensive was a pot of stew."

        "I'm sorry? Did I hear that wrong? You asked for stew?"  
        “That’s right. One of the childless couples made the best stew I'd ever smelled. So that was my price. Another was a hair, some wool, straw, and so on."

        "That's it?"

        "I lost my son. I wouldn't ever give him up again and here were people willing to love a child that others were willing to relinquish. I wouldn't take anything of value from people willing to take in and love a child."

        Her smile returned to her lips. "And you say you're all bad. Where are those people? Why aren't they—?"

        "I still have the reputation. My looks back in our world were enough to scare them."

        "Stupid," Belle muttered.”Looks don’t matter.”

        "That may be so but it makes perfect sense to them."  He took a drink of wine and set down his glass. “They'll see how wonderful you are and accept you the more you go out."

        "But I don't want that unless they accept you too."

        "Then you'll be waiting for a long time. I promise I won't be evil but I'm not sociable like you. Perhaps you'd rather—"

        "I'm not leaving you. Stop asking or even thinking that I want to. I'd rather have you than all the friendships in the town."

          And Rumple knew she meant that.

 

-/-/-

 

       Belle crept past the "creature shelf" so she wouldn't jar anything and they wouldn't wake up. The last thing she wanted to do was take the time to put them asleep again. She went into the bedroom to get her purse.

       She jumped when she turned and saw Rumple standing at the door. "I need to get my other coat," he said. She was surprised she hadn't heard him come in. He walked over to the closet, got his coat and slipped it on.

       "Thank you for going with me. I don't like being alone at night, but I know you don't like to go to that particular market."

       He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it. "It's not as annoying when I'm with you."

       "Sweet man.”

       They left the bedroom and went into the hall. As they walked side-by-side, both momentarily forgot about the creature shelf until they both stepped too hard, and coupled with the thump of rumple's cane hitting the wood, all of the creatures woke up with yawns and cock-a-doodle-doos.

       "Damn creatures," they both said at the same time. They looked at each other then at the creatures, then back at each other again.

       "Belle, darling, don't you like them?"

       "Um... Look, I don't want you to think I'm not appreciative and I know how much you love them, but—“

       "I don't like these things. I only tolerated them because I thought you liked them."

       She shook her head. "No, no, I mean I liked them at first but now they drive me crazy. I was afraid to tell you."

       "Afraid? Why?"

       "I was afraid I'd hurt your feelings since you were so nice to let me keep them."

       He laughed and pulled her into a hug. "My kind Belle. If you ever dislike anything, let me know. Always let me know.”

       "Okay." She pulled away from him and stared at the talking animals. "What do we do about them?"

       "Leave them be. We’ll deal with them when we get back."

 

-/-/-

 

       Belle squeezed Rumple's arm tightly in anger as she heard two women talking as if she and Rum were deaf. Rumple didn't care but it got on her nerves. Couldn’t they go anywhere without either of them receiving scorn. Even though Rum would've gone with her earlier in the day, she deliberately chose to go late in the evening so they could still go out but avoid most of the crowds. It was the same reasons they went to Granny's place right before the lunchtime rush.

       "Have we gotten everything?"

       "I have one more thing I need to pick up, I'll be right back." She went through an aisle and cringed when she saw the two women from earlier there. From their voices, it seemed as if they were older women, but she was surprised to see that they were around the same age as she was. They had their back turned to the stand so they didn’t see her approach.

       "Have they left yet?" the black haired one said.

       "I hope so. Can you imagine? Wonder if she's only after his money."

       "Honey, he's the Dark One, she's probably possessed."

       The other giggled. "I wouldn't doubt it. Belle grabbed the fruit she wanted and turned.

       "Or his whore."

       Belle snatched an apple and then threw it. The fruit slammed against the woman’s back, bringing forth a yell from her.  When she turned the corner to keep from being spotted, she bumped into someone. She pulled back and started to apologize but stopped short when she saw a familiar tie belonging to a familiar suit.

       "You didn’t tell me you were skilled at launching produce.”

       She smiled sheepishly. "They made me angry."

       Rum peered over the shelf and saw the two women, looking puzzled at who could’ve and would’ve tossed fruit.  "Ignore them."

       "Should I apologize you think?"

       He took her hand and led her back over to the trolley. "Definitely not.  If I knew you would do it, I’d suggest you throw more fruit."

        

-/-/-

       The creatures on the hallway shelf were still spouting their nonsense when Belle and Rumple arrived home. They echoed through the house as if a microphone was amplifying them.  
        After they put up the groceries, and the things were still speaking, they walked up the stairs to deal with them. . "Want me to blow them up," Rumple asked as Belle reached for one of the chatting creatures, the thing speaking a “wheee” when she moved it upside down.

       "Why don't we donate them to a children's hospital."

       "You want to subject children to those things? Not just any children, but sick children."

       "You’re right.”  

       "We can just take the batteries out..."

       As the creatures continued to verbalize their peculiar language, all gibberish since each was speaking different statements; it reminded Belle of the citizens that spouted off constantly about things they knew nothing about.  An evil thought occurred to her and she smashed it before it instantly popped back into her head. There was no avoiding it, and it wasn’t as if the victims didn’t deserve it.

       “Rumple, I have an idea.”

       Rum leaned over a bit so he could see her face closer. "Love, I don't think I've ever see such a mischievous expression grace your face."

       She looked over at him."Can magic be used on these?"

       "Of course.” 

       "Do you think you can get more of these on wholesale? About thirty more."

       "Why on earth would you want more of these things?"

       She leaned up and whispered to him as if someone was listening in; no one was stupid enough to try to bug Rumplestiltskin’s home.

       When she spotted a grin on his lips, she knew he idea was a good one. Or bad one…

       "Well, what do you think?" she asked even though she knew his response would be positive.

       He moved his arm around her waist, pulled her closer to his side, and kissed the top of her head. “You’d better be careful, Dearie, you might earn a darker reputation than I.”


	4. The Monsters Do Their Duty

 

            His poker face was difficult to maintain when Regina set the little monster upon his counter hard enough that he thought the glass cracked.

            “What can I do for you on this fine day? It must be pressing for you to have the temerity to enter my shop.”

            “You’re behind this aren’t you?” she said.

            “Behind what?”

            “That . . . that . . . thing!” she snapped and pointed down to the creature.

             “I only deal in antiques and that—” He pointed down at the toy “—is most certainly not an antique.”  

            “I know what that is, and I know you’re the one behind it.”

            He bit the inside corner of his lip to keep from grinning. It’d been two weeks since they gave some citizens their gifts. Regina wasn’t the first one to come in for help. Out of the twenty, he’d only helped one.  “They’re just toys, your Majesty.”

            “They’re toys that say horrible things. This one called me a bitch with mommy is—issues.”

            Laughter bubbled inside him, threatening to spew forth. “So it tells the truth then.”

            “See, you are the one behind it. Fix it, Rumplestiltskin.”

            “You’ve seen the things I’m capable of, if I wanted to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, I have other ways. Remember the wraith?”

            He thought he saw her shudder.  He walked over to the shelf and removed the broken creature they put there to feign innocence. “You see, I too have one of those monstrosities.”  He pointed to the shelf at his side.

            “How’d you stop it?”

            “I was fortunate that it quit after a while. Just put up with it, the batteries or whatever is working it will stop eventually.”

            “Then I’ll just let you keep it,” she said and walked out of the shop. Rumple grinned as the creature glowed and disappeared.

            After ten minutes, the phone rang. He answered it, “Gold’s pawnshop.”

            “It’s in my office!”

            He grinned.

 

**-/-/-**

         He bent and picked up the evening paper on his doorstep and opened it. He laughed aloud at the headline and entered the house.  His little Belle was definitely giving the citizens of Storybrooke a well-deserved lesson. All he had to do was enchant the objects to tell the "owners" the truth. It was amazing how much people lied to themselves. Once attached to the house, the object had the ability to always show up where the houses owner was, even when the toy was thrown out.    
           It took quite a bit of magical doing but it was well worth it to see the sleepless stares of the people they chose to give the "gift' too. According to Belle, the gossip almost stopped, everyone being too devastated at the creature’s self-esteem attack. The main brunt of gossip was thrust upon the little monsters.

            He heard Belle in the kitchen and smelled the meal she was preparing. It reminded him of the days back in the dark castle when he arrived home and snuck upon her to give her a fright. Of course, at that time he hadn’t had a cane that could wake the dead when it hit hardwood floors.

            He walked into the kitchen and moved over to stand at her side. She turned and gave him a kiss. “Welcome home.” She giggled “Eventful day?”

            “Three came in today, including Her Majesty. You wouldn’t believe the things they offered me. Good thing I kept that broken one in the shop.”

            “What’d it call Regina?”

            “A bitch with mommy issues.”

            “Odd.”

            “If you knew her mother you wouldn’t say that,” he said. “The best one so far was when it told Prince James and Snow that they were filled with enough drama to have a five season soap opera.” 

            _Blast it._

            She turned off the stove and turned to face him fully. “We didn’t give one to them.”

         He looked away.

         "Rumplestiltskin, you didn't!"

         “I couldn’t resist. I fixed his when he brought it in because I knew you'd be upset."

         "How long will the enchantment last?"

         “Two more weeks,” he said.

         Her eyes widened. "Two weeks? That makes it a month. I didn’t want you to make it that long."

         "It seemed reasonable to me."

         "It would." She motioned toward the paper in his grasp. “Did Sidney put it in the paper yet?"

         "Oh yes. Took him long enough too," he said. “In fact, we made the front page." He tossed it on the countertop beside the stove.

         Belle laughed when she read the headline. "Storybrooke Citizens Harassed by Truth-telling Furbies."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The idea of this came about over my loved one’s annoyance (and slight fear of) Furbies. The bumping shelf part actually happened. It’s also dedicated to OTP who just loves Furbies (XD).


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